Subject: Belated Zane Grey Report Date: Sun, 06 May 2001 13:53:04 -0600 From: Todd Salzer Listonianites, Hope it is not too late to submit a report on a wonderful trip down to Az. Anyhoo, drove down from Colorado with my wife. Camped high on the Mogollon (sp.) Rim on Thursday, then drove to the aid stations on Friday so Carly could keep from getting lost (a success on race day!) What a beautiful area. I had no idea there was terrain of this sort in Arizona. Large evergreens, beautful vistas, mountain views, spectacular. Went to the pre-race dinner. Met some nice folks, learned some more about the course, then went to the start to camp. (No one took me up on my offer of pre-race carbo-loading--or post-race for that matter. Drove down with a full cooler of beer, drove home with a mostly full cooler of beer. Supremely disappointed in the performance of all you ultra-drinkers out there.) Tried to get some sleep when a caravan of high schoolers showed up to join in the camping festivities. Managed to get a few good hours in despite the ruckus. Could only imagine what they must have been thinking when Geri (I think) started screaming at 3:45. Piddling around before the race, then see the lights start bobbing up the hill. Oh well, I guess that takes away the pre race jitters. Slowly make my way through the crowd till I can find a comfortable place (and pace). Recognize a few other runners from leapfrogging in prior races, so know I am in the right place. Get to the first AS, unload gear on my wife, refuel. Oh yeah, gotta bare my ass. Direct it toward the crowd, but the crew chief gets the brunt. Had to give him a dollar for the effort; can' t be a pretty site to look at my ass. On, on. Next section is not bad. Consistent, walk most of the uphills, run everything else. Trying to keep extra hydrated as it is starting to get warm. Wearing some new shoes (new Mizuno Trail shoes--will be great once they're broken in), having only run in them 2x. Started getting a blister about mile 15. Duct tape it up at second AS. Take 4 bottles out for this section. Again moon volunteers, again am chastised for my ass, again feel chagrined enough to tip the direct recipient. Now known as "Cash Ass", but I prefer the term "Gratuitous Asshole". Young Mr. Castillo catches some of my pale, shrugs, and returns the glory. I am not fit to be a role model. Good thing I brought all four bottles. This section is HOT. In Colorado, I have not been able to train in anything like this. Starts to feel unbearable to me, most of my recent runs haveing been slogs through the snow. Keep chugging the water. My feet are getting worse. Through the 51 miles of this course, maybe 10 have decent footing. All the rest are rocky or rutted. Stop and duct tape up the whole forefoot of both my feet. This works for the rest of the race, though I have some nasty blisters by the end, my first blisters in roughly 10 career ultras. AS 3 comes too soon. I thought it was a long 8 miles from AS 2, but it was only 6 or so. The next section is the long one. Eat some more food, fill the bottles with ice!water, and again pay my penance. Here I ran into Kurt, the bottomless runner, but didn't even notice he had on no shorts. I guess I was focused, either that or he had nothing to see?? This next section was my low point. Had a real difficult time dealing with the heat. I couldn't seem to stay focused on the task at hand. Slowed down a lot, got lost for a few minutes, endless ups and downs and rocks, rocks, rocks. Finally get to the AS at mile 33. Carly pampers me, makes me drink lots. I keep eating salty stuff, can't get enough. I drink one of those coffee in a jar drinks. What a burst. Before I am off though, I bare all to someone with a camera and try to give her a buck. She tells me that my ass is gonna cost $4. Damn, I don't got that kind of flow. She reluctantly takes my dollar (shoulda been dancing for me if she wanted four bucks.) Next section is 11 miles of rolling hills. Finally into some shade and I start to feel good again. Make up a little time lost, really getting into a zone and enjoying myself. Step off trail to use facilities; false alarm, but lose my balance and sit on some sort of cactus-yucca type plant. That's gotta make my ass look really nice. Make my way into Mr. Trail Safety's beautifully decorated aid station. Nice touch, bedpans for food holders, urine bottles with electrolytes. Larry wrote " I confess also to accepting a token of one fine lady's esteem when she gave me a dollar to look at her ass." Not sure whose bubble i am bursting here, but that wasn't no ladies ass. Anyway, the last 6 miles were my best of the race. That seems to be how 50's are for me. Maybe I can smell the barn, or maybe it's just my own stench, but somehow I can cruise for those last few miles. Finished in 11:40ish. Slower than hoped for, but on not enough training, I'll take it gladly. Recieved a "Smart Ass" award, 'cause I know how to get far in life. Just bribe people! Many thanks to co-RD's Linda & Geri. It was much fun. Here's hoping the race finds a director for next year, and that there will be some entrants willing to drink my beer. Todd Salzer