Subject: The Almost Forgotten Saga of Cold Miner Dick at LT100,
     part 5? (I FORGOT!)
Date: Fri, 26 Feb 1999 00:16:38 -0600

You know you could be an ultrarunner if...

...you expect everybody else to remember the story you
started last summer and have since forgotten yourself.

"OK, so how's that maybe make you an ultrarunner?"

Well, the reason I forgot is because of all the running I've
done!

That's not necessarily true either, of course.  But one of
the reasons for my prolonged absence from this list--this
august consortium of peripatetic long-windedness--has been
the intervening alteration of my attachment in the first
place.

In other wordth:  I thtuck out my tongue and thwitched thith
ISP.

Yeah, all the new "hype" for all the new features of this
new "dot net," I suppose, finally got the best of me.  But
if the truth were really told (and you know I almost rarely
always tell it) Prodigy-dot-com is going off the air, and so
it was either sign up with "dot" net or just "duh" quit.
(Ah-ha!  I know what choice many of you might've wished I
would've made, eh?)

No such luck, foeks.  I'm here for the duration.  I'm here
till The Crash.  Till the second coming of key-writest.
Till Y2K.  Which means, let's see...you'll only have to put
up with me for ten more months.

And hopefully I'll have my saga finished by then.

I couldn't help noticing, of course, how all the hoopla is
already building for next summer's Leadville Trail 100.  For
example, we just recently had reported to us that the race
is full.  This is good.  It removes my temptation.

We have also been apprised of all heroic accomplishments of
all the heroes of that race, both men and women and now
(what did I just read) some cat?  No, not mountain
lion--housecat!  (Note that, USATF:  100 mile trail record
for four-legged felines = 6 months*.  The asterisk is
necessary because the kittycat might possibly have
benefitted by receiving aid from a spectator.)

Other mobilizations have also been set in motion.  (Is Mobil
a sponsor this year?  Hey, their winged horse!  Not a bad
idea, I'll tell you, for getting over Hope's Pass.)
Motorola?  Hey, last year we had AT&T!  (And ever since I
finished the race they've been threatening to cut off my
phone.  Ah, another story for another time.  Another reason
why I've taken so long to get back on this list.)  The long
distance carrier...  You see?  It fits.

By the way, have you all made your accommodations
reservations yet?  (Take a hint:  DO IT.  NOW!!)  There are,
let's see, about three total places to stay in Leadville,
Colorado.  There's the hotel (nice, but try to avoid the
third floor--no elevators after your race) and the motel
(next door to a terrific breakfast eatery, trust me) and
then, I think, the street.

Oh, all right.  There's also about a bazillion campsites and
campgrounds.  Hey, that's why most NORMAL people go to
Leadville!  And you're going to wake most of them up, too,
the morning(s) you clamor and stumble around Turquoise Lake.
Trust me.  In fact, the reason why they have their aid
stations where they do is because they can pitch their
tents.  Mayqueen and Half Moon are campgrounds!  (Twin
Lakes, too, I think.) Anyway, point being that if you want a
BED, book it now.  But if y'all don't mind ground, well,
boogie on down!

My job, as I see it with this saga, is to point out to you
all the lesser known aspects of the race which you won't get
from any Mobil travel guide, AT&T long distance information
operator, or the immensely popular prerace packet itself.  I
observe for you the bizarre, the off-beat, the trail less
traveled by (lest you should, hopefully, get lost and thus
gracefully pull out of the war).  I give you only the
postrace 80-mile report from the OH-zone.  I give good fax.
I point out for you--when you're 96 miles into it and can't
even see straight--the actual difference between sh*t and
Shinola.  I point out the former so you don't step in it,
and I carry a tin of the latter in case you scuff your
shoes.

You want to look good at the finish.

For the photo-op!  Trust me.  Don't think so?  Well, look
"me" up at Andrea Fuecht's Web site!  (What a sweetheart she
is!)

Nah, on second thought, forget the pic.  My shoes are
scuffed.

And so, what is the very first thing I should tell you about
once you hit Leadville?  The mountains?  The air?  The
vacuum?  To watch your shoes so you don't puke all over them
from altitude sickness?

Tell you what.  That kid that serves you your pancakes the
first day you arrive?  Yeah, your waitress.  Well, don't
even try to ask her any questions about the race.  She won't
have heard of it.  She'll think you're part of a biker gang.

"There's nothing to DO here," she'll complain.  "I'm, like,
totally bored out of my tattoos."

Oh, Zonie.  Have I got a "trip" for you!

Rich Limacher
THETROUBADOUR@prodigy.net