The following n-part series was started in 1999 by Rich Limacher from Matteson, Illinois who finished in 33:24:35 and offers the following narrative for those contemplating the event.

# 1: So Catch Me, Sue Me!
# 2: Space Is Limited, So You Should Book Your Lodging By July --Notice from Race Hdqtrs., received in August
# 3: Medium-Sized-Running-Little-Bare and Schultz
# 4: If Your Idea of Luggage Tags Is Duct Tape and a Magic Marker...You *Could* Be a Redneck
# 5: In Those Most Sincere Words of Forrest Gump, "I Have To Pee"
# 6: What If They Gave a Banquet and Everybody Showed Up But the Food?
# 7: Oh, So the Banquet Really Isn't at the Banquet But at a Different Function of the Same Name?
# 8: You COULD Be a Redneck if "...ALL Your Possessions on Earth Fit in Two Tupperware Tubs
# 9: How To Win Second Prize In a One Prize Contest
#10: Red Sky at Night: Sailors' Delight; Red Glowstick at Dawn: Yer Too Friggin' Close to the Edge!
#11: The Honeymooners, or, "Bang! Zoom! To Da Moon, Alice!!!
#12: On My Belt I Have My Pouche, So I'm On My Way To Tettegouche
#13: The Edmund Fitzgerald's Out There Somewhere!
#14: For Your (and possibly everyone else's) Eyes Only
#15: Oh, So the Continuous Trail to Canada Isn't Continuous? (Does Customs Know About This?)
#16: Highway 61 Recom*bob*ulated
#17: You Can Get Anything You Want At Hiawatha's Restaurant
#18: You're Gonna Like This Next Section (And If It Doesn't Kill You, You're Money Ahead)
#19: Look What We Found In The Park
#20: Your Basic Above-Average Plus-Size Hare Piece
#21: If I'm Such a Heavy (electrolyte replacement fluids) Drinker, What Am I Doing at the Temperance River?
#22: Sweet Home, Chicago
#23: To Err Is Human, To Forgive Is "Not An Option"
#24: Us Carlton Pokers Would Rather Hike Than Ditch
#25: "Have You Got Your Flashlight? Rain Gear? Bail-Bond Card? Life Insurance Paid Up?"
#26: "It's Your Pacer!!!"

"" (updated: 6/7/00)